40 Little Known Facts From Patrick Gill and Nico Lang’s Biographies

Nico on Patrick:

1. Patrick Gill was the person that Frank Ocean was talking about in his coming out letter and the inspiration for the song, “Novacaine,” because Patrick got a stripper booty and a rack like “wow.”

2. Patrick Gill once interned for Judi Dench but had to quit because he found her constant advances degrading, kind of like acting in a Michael Bay movie.  (Note: we cannot comment as to whether or not Notes on a Scandal was based on Patrick Gill’s life, but we do know that Patrick has woken up screaming, “You thought this was a love affair!” on multiple occasions.  He also takes pills to prevent “sexual nightmares.”)

3. Patrick Gill actually is Peppermint Patti, which confirms my childhood belief that Peppermint Patti was a lesbian. (cont.)