Ask Jenn Vicious: For the Love of Short Men
Hey, I’m a 5’9 woman and my boyfriend is 5’4. I have been with him for a few months. I didn’t think the height difference would be a problem but I guess it is. I just don’t feel like a woman when I’m with him. I feel like we look awkward and sex is kind of unsatisfying. I don’t want to leave him for those reasons because they seem shallow, what should I do?
I respect that you don’t want to want to leave him for reasons that seem shallow. Unfortunately, you DO want to leave him for reasons that are shallow. You should just accept that fact.
I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt right now. Probably your relationship just isn’t that great. If it was really good in other ways, (connection, communication, sex, etc.) I’m guessing you wouldn’t care about the height thing, which is a really stupid reason to not like someone, btw.
So let’s assume you need to leave this guy because your relationship is just unsatisfying. When you dump him, say that. He doesn’t need you making him feel shitty about his height.
I can not end this post without pointing out that you have a serious problem that has absolutely nothing to do with your short boyfriend. If you are looking to other people to define yourself, whether it’s to make you feel like a “woman” (whatever that means) or anything else, you are always going to have problems. Look to yourself, figure out who you are and how you want to be in the world before you start dating someone else. Then it won’t matter how tall they are.